Thursday, August 02, 2012

A Prince or a Frog

Normally, when you start dating your next big love, at some point, after the first sharing moments, or after you get to know the person more, you might get to a point where you doubt... it this the right one?. He seemed to be perfect, but still, is this what I do really need?

Sometimes it might be because your backgrounds are so different that you seem not to agree on the very basics, or because in the close contact, that person is not exactly as you thought he could be.

Sometimes is only that you´re that so used to your previous status (either you were single or sharing with another partner) that you find it quite complicated to come along with this new ways of doing things.

Sometimes it´s about the family of your partner. I have heard a lot of people saying "If it was not because of the mom/sister/brother/uncle/etc. it would be great". Many people end up saying those people were the ones messing up with the relationship.

In summary, the change itself can be complicated to deal with at a given point, and then it´s when you start asking yourself: Should I continue with this?, Will it be OK in the end? Will those differences between us become a real problem in the relationship? Will it be better to just leave it?

Well, in jobs it is the same.  At some point you decide to commit with one position, because the company seems wonderful, the project seems engaging and the future looked absolutely promising, but I always find that after a brief period of time, you start rethinking about it.  Maybe it´s because the company is so different or has different working processes you´re just not used to. Sometimes you can screw your first steps just because you still don´t know the dynamics of the company.

Maybe the politics or the culture, although  interesting, seem to give you a hard time when it comes to doing your job well, and start having results. Sometimes you feel the need to push for a job well done, and it seems to be worthless.

Sometimes it´s just about the people, the culture or the customs of the people you work with. I remember a place where the mood of the people was so aggressive it became scaring.  I have seen places where, even if pretending to be charming and loving, in the end there were “knifes” in the back of many people. Sometimes people is so new to the company (as you are) that they´re just trying to cover the lack of experience by blocking your work.

The worse case is the one related with the Holly Cows. Truth is you find them in every single company, but when these people just seem frightened by your efforts and your ideas, they start messing up with your work.

In summary, the change in jobs may be complicated itself, but can be twice as challenging when those variables are added to the equation.  At some point you start asking to yourself: Should I continue on with this?, Will it be worth the effort? Will those politics / culture / manners be a major blocker when it comes to working well and having results? What if I just leave it and look for another place?

The difference between a relationship and a job is that in the first ones, it´s just about people losing people…sad but manageable. When it comes to jobs, though, it´s not only about leaving a place to work, it can even be the difference between having money or not.

Anyways, in both cases, sometimes you have to give it some time just to see if it´s only a matter of adaptability to change or if it´s a major issue...only time can say.

1 comment:

  1. Good reflection.

    In fact, we could still thinking about every step we walk before walking it, and finally we wouldn't move.

    I prefer thinking the opposite: if we didn't walk those risky steps... probably today we wouldn't be in this better situation.

    It's a balance between rational and intuition.